so many painful regrets
will I take to my lonely grave
you couldn’t possibly know
how desperately I wanted you there
but I was a narcissistic fool
I ignored your phone calls
time after time
out of crushing guilt
out of dutiful obligation
because “work” was more important
I wasn’t there to see you growing
I wasn’t there to see you changing
because I was forced to live
a separate life without you
like puzzle pieces that no longer fit
what was once a temporary favor
became a permanent life sentence
I was no longer allowed to be your mother
because I was poor
because I was uneducated
because I was without support
so you were stolen from me
and all I could do was watch
I convinced myself
that you were better off
without me around
without my emotional baggage
without my habitual drinking
without my strangling guilt
I could never be a suitable role model
I could never be the mother you wanted
and needed
I could never be
good enough
for you
Feb 3 2026