a retort from my daughter to “Good Enough”
Your words make me angry
A hollow pit I have never figured out
You say choices were made
Out of guilt
Out of pain
Out of duty
Out of shame
It’s funny how our brains work
Mysterious, cruel ways
I felt all of those feelings
Chasing a mother who stayed away
You say you weren’t good enough
Your perfume swirls in my brain
I kiss my daughter’s cheek
Leave the same marks as before
Burgundy lipstick on sister’s belly
Before walking out the door
You say you weren’t good enough
I understand
The world is unforgiving
Unloveable
Discarded
Replaced
Mistake
I wanted those phone calls
To reassure me those were lies
But years of hearing your voicemail
It was a quiet confirmation
All you did was hide
I did all I could to impress you
The artwork, the music, the policies
Even French.
Fucking French.
I sound like peanut butter.
You are a stranger now
I feel like a groupie you entertain
You don’t say it
But you hate me
Who I have become
I am not enough of something
Or too much of something
Either way, not enough.
In my 30’s, I find myself wanting you
Missing a home I never had
I made myself a home
Became a mother twice
Begging for approval
Thinking it would coax you out
“I’ll never go back.”
That is what you said.
Feb 4 2026